Fops, Dandies, and Luvvies – How to Become a Writer
ByOn Shadesbreath’s excellent Hub,HubPages Sucks, an interesting conversation developed, a lament of times gone by; the days when everybody knew what a writer was and exactly what a writer did. Writers locked themselves in rooms whilst fearful servants passed food under the door, fearing to incur the wrath of an artist dancing with Muses, in an unbridled outburst of creative genius and passion. Everybody was perfectly happy with this except, of course, the writers themselves, who tended to starve and develop an unhealthy, corpselike pallor. Sadly, adulation does not fill a plate or fix the leaking roof, so writers used the emancipated frame and hacking cough as emblems of honour and identity.
It was a good whinge about the old days, buried long ago in prehistory, where everyone knew their place in the grand scheme and writers could adopt an expression of smug superiority. Like Waldorf and Statler, we sat on the balcony of Hubpages, two old men moaning and complaining just because we could. Beneath the puerile banter, about wasps, funerals, and dinosaurs, lay a serious tone, of two men floating adrift and questioning their very identity and purpose. What is a writer? Are we in danger of extinction?
A Writer – The Tamer of Words
Before we embark upon this tortuous journey through the inane ramblings of an old luvvie trying to explain how to become a writer, I will point out that this is one ouzo-pickled hippy’s opinion. If you think differently, then the balcony is over there; feel free to jeer the unfolding shambles on the stage and shower your abuse on the unrehearsed chaos.
A writer understands words; more exactly, a writer knows the power of words and has mastered the ancient techniques needed to use and manipulate them. Mass communication and the internet have seen an increase and proliferation of words, and an unimaginable amount of information is available to those who care to use this interweb and risk paralysis from the bite of the Google Spider.
Anybody can sit down and type ‘words’; anyone can use a word processor and lay down thoughts, easily and without ceremony. Writing words is easier than ever before, giving the opportunity to create, to communicate, and to bore. The amount of words has increased, but there is no more grist to talk about than in the halcyon days of the Bard; thus, many of these words are, quite simply, empty noise.
To me, a writer is someone who does not just see words as tools for communicating the maelstrom of thoughts swirling in their head. To a writer, words are alive, wild beasts to be captured and tamed before an adoring audience. Language is a thing to be moulded like a lump of raw clay, shaped into art and self-expression. Words can be joined together, flowing streams with subtle meanings and depths meandering through your emotions and nurturing your soul. In the hands of a master, words can entice, emote, and amuse.
The Greek Tragedy
Behind a writer lie the clichéd tears of the clown, and most of us are vain Pierrots with frail egos, like the old actor on stage wearing another personality, or an illusionist with only smoke and mirrors to create the illusion. A writer understands emotion and holds up a mirror, making you question your own psyche and unlock the dreams within.
Every time a writer lays words on the virgin page, they also bare a little more of their own soul, revealing their secret and inner self. Words are wild and dangerous beasts that can be used to tear egos apart and bare the intangible soul, but they can also turn on the lion-tamer and leave him bleeding and torn, a shambolic wreck consumed by the tendrils of dark thought.
How to Become a Writer – The Method Actor
I have seen people shape words, and their excellent grasp of technicalities and style allows clear and concise communication. However, some lack the passion and the ability to create the scene and draw the audience in. A fine actor knows how to draw people in with a whisper and then drive them away with a bellow of raw emotion, counting the audience as an integral part of the story. A writer can use voice, rhythm, and flow to make you feel both joy and pain, to take you from elation to despair in a single sentence.
On the other extreme, I have seen people pour their passions onto the page, a torrent of sheer, unbridled emotion. These are invariably wonderful to read, but a writer needs finesse and technique to restrain the flow, an ability to bring down the curtain between scenes. A humble comma, the unsung hero of the English language, can lift work from the good into the truly sublime.
The Mind of the Writer – The Cabinet Makers and the Sculptors
In the old days, we had two groups of writers; the creative writers and the non-creative writers. Locked in their towers, they used to argue ceaselessly about which of the two was the most talented, a display of pompous, academic arrogance fought amidst the spires of Oxford and the colonial mansions of Hemingway’s Havana. Now these two are united, an unholy alliance cowering behind a shield wall of similes, circled and beset by brooding uncertainty and destructive self-doubt. Besieging our broken heroes are the Keywords with Long Tails and the Search Engine Ogres, seeking to bring down their ivory towers.
The academic and non-fiction writers are cabinet-makers, the craftsmen and women who shape words and create function yet still imbue their work with individuality and style. The creative writers are sculptors, able to craft raw lumber into objects of beauty. Mostly, sculptors and craftspeople are fawning fops and preening dandies, flouncing and posing before the murmuring audience. For a writer, it is not about the money but the single red rose thrown at the feet of the actor, the applause as the crowd shouts for more. A good writer tries to leave an audience bewitched by beguiling prose and lexical panache, entertained and changed by rhythm and style.
How to Become a Writer – From the Shield-Wall to the Bear Pit
So where is this going? Has the hippy finished talking out of his backside? Not quite, if I can impose upon your patience and continue this flow of solipsistic excess verbiage. This is the crux of the matter and the point in the play where tragedy turns to joy, the scene where we employ a Spielbergesque happy ending. For, amidst the proliferation of words on the internet is a glimmer of hope for the beleaguered shield-wall. Maybe, relief for our fops and dandies is nigh, and hidden amonst the empty noise lies a sign of things to come. People are starting to seek out writers; they crave to be entertained, to smell the greasepaint and laugh at the preening pantomime dames.
Instead of Hollywood and plastic fame, audiences crave a return to the old days, when actors trod the boards and faced the audience, like some tired Roman gladiator before a baying crowd. Instead of fleeing from the internet and closing ranks, writers are learning to unleash the power, dancing with the Ogres instead of seeing them as fearsome, snarling beasts trained to rend delicate prose.
Rather than view marketers as implacable foes, we understand that they are allies and friends, a new target for our egotistical arguments and attention-seeking flounces.the crux of the matter and the point in the play where tragedy turns to joy, the scene where we employ a Spielbergesque happy ending. For, amidst the proliferation of words on the internet is a glimmer of hope for the beleaguered shield-wall. Maybe, relief for our fops and dandies is nigh, and hidden amonst the empty noise lies a sign of things to come. People are starting to seek out writers; they crave to be entertained, to smell the greasepaint and laugh at the preening pantomime dames.
How to Become a Writer – The Cast and Crew Milk the Encore
Actors need the crew, working tirelessly behind the scenes, to create the scene and set the tone, their special effects elevating any play into the realms of true fantasy with the audience hushed and beguiled by passionate speech. Likewise, the crew need the actors to bring the dreams to fruition, adding a human emotion to the play and garnishing it with the ancient magic and glamour.
Writers are spiritual vampires, needing the sustenance of adulation and, with the help of technology, can find new audiences to feed their souls. We must embrace this technology and emerge from behind the shield-wall, blinking in the sunlight of modernity and donning the greasepaint of progress. Suddenly, we can again show our undead faces as people seek the secret of how to become a writer.
Pierrot Photo courtesy of MatthiasKabelunder a Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 3.0 licence
Photo courtesy of vbariteau under aCreative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 3.0 License
